Month: October 2015

If you’re hitting up rec lists and Best Of’s looking for some movie thrills this Halloween, heed my warning: some of the most frequently recommended films are just not scary.

Some are gross and graphic, some have simply not aged well, some are actually great film-work but just don’t horrify. What may have been hideous or horrifying in 1979 or 1930 may now be only quaint or goofy, unintentionally hilarious.

Even so, these are titles that keep getting recced on Scariest lists simply because they are classics with an impressive, if dated, reputation for the sensation they managed to create in their day. Many definitely deserve props as iconic examples of the genre, and some of them are, indeed, great cinema. But the impact of a Nosferatu or a Frankenstein is historical, not terrifying in the present tense. And I want to have the hell scared out of me.

Remember: These titles are drawn ONLY from the films listed at least 5 times in a random sampling of “Scariest Horror Movies” lists from 30 different online articles posted over the last 5 years.

GOOD BUT NOT REALLY SCARY
American Psycho (2000)
An American Werewolf in London (1981)
Blacula (1972)
Carrie (1976)
Dracula (1931)
Frankenstein (1931)
Ghostbusters (1984)
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
Jaws (1975)
Låt den rätte komma in (2008)
Night of the Living Dead (1968)
Nosferatu (1922)
Psycho (1960)
Rosemary’s Baby (1968)
The Birds (1963)
The Others (2001)
The Shining (1980)
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
The Sixth Sense (1999)
The Thing (1982)
The Last Exorcism (2010)

SCARY THEN, GOOFY NOW
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
Dead Silence (2007)
Friday the 13th (1980)
Hellraiser (1987)
Insidious (2010)
Phantasm (1979)
Poltergeist (1982)
Re-Animator (1985)
Suspiria (1977)
The Amityville Horror (1979)
The Host (2006)
The Howling (1981)
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

MORE GROSS THAN SCARY
Audition (1999)
Faces of Death (1978)
Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)
Hostel (2005)
The ABCs of Death (2012)
The Cabin in the Woods (2012)
The Children (2008)
The Evil Dead (1981 & 2013)
The Human Centipede (2010)
Trick ‘r Treat (2007)
Saw (2004)
Scream (1996)
VHS (2012)

KINDA BORING
Don’t Look Now (1973)
Ghost Story (1980)
Halloween (1978)
It Follows (2014)
Ju-on: The Grudge (2002)
Poltergeist (2015)
Pontypool (2008)
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
The Changeling (1980)
The Conjuring (2013)
The Fog (1980 & 2005)
The Haunting (1963)
The Omen (2006) (1976)
The Wicker Man (1973 & 2006)
The Woman in Black (1989 & 2012)

☀These are my recs not drawn from anywhere but my own preferences. Mostly they are scary, all of them are good.
28 Days Later… (2002)
Alien (1979)
A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night (2014)
As Above, So Below (2014)
Frailty (2001)
Grave Encounters (2011)
Housebound (2014)
Lake Mungo (2008)
Mama (2013)
May (2002)
Noroi: The Curse (2005)
Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2014)
[Rec] (2007)
Se7en (1995)
The Awakening (2011)
The Babadook (2014)
The Descent (2005)
The Exorcist (1973)
The Last Exorcism (2010)
The Ring (2002)
The Thing (1982)
Triangle (2009)
We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011)
Willow Creek (2013)